Community is not what happens to a group when they finally feel warm fuzzies toward each other. Community does not "happen" at all. Community simply is, or is not. If I am in community with you, I may or may not experience warm feelings toward you, but it has no bearing on whether or not we are in community. We either are, or are not, regardless of how we feel about one another. It’s about ontology, not phenomenology.
Now healthy community is another matter, one of confession and absolution and forgiveness and grace, but one cannot learn to live and move in healthy community until one decides to be in community. And real community is the playground of hurt feelings, misunderstood motives, annoying idiosyncrasies and growth in grace, which is probably why so few actually decide to do it.